Jose Maniyangat Wikipedia

[At the edge of the rainbow] Liquid Storm 1.4

"Perfect, my love, well then put in the suitcase. We feel tonight, ok? I love you to death. "Rachel gently closes off the phone with Stephanie and she puts the phone in her purse canvas. Amnon
a few steps away trace circles in the sand on the coast of Caesarea. Rachel joins him and puts her hands on his shoulders, snapped a kiss on the forehead.
"What does my brother?" Amnon lets go against Rachel and closes his eyes.
"The heat is giving me a little 'annoyance, I'm sorry." Whisper to a whisper.
"Look out!" But Rachel does not has time to pronounce the sentence which both fall on the hot sand.
"You just have a special passion for the sand, eh!" Rachel joked, passing a hand over his forehead.
"You want to do great on the Wiener Schnitzel." Blow up both in laughter.


fifty-ninth day
Somewhere night I always dream of being trapped in an hourglass, where the sand is like oxygen to me and runs off as they feel short of breath.
Sometimes I try to sit still, do not shake and wait for death, but this never comes. It 's just a slow agony that lasts until morning. I think
Rachel has noticed something, some days it is even more helpful.
sister, when you resigned to the fact that I will not be saved?

"Now we rest a bit 'cool." Jest Rachel. "That is cool on." He says, settling under the umbrella and extending his friend a bottle of juice.
"Look, I'm fine." He points out.
"I know." She says, pulling out his tongue. "But I want you both continue to feel good."
"Want to go for a swim? At least now you do not mess with mud, I promise. "The calls him, standing up and holding out a hand.
The water is warm, 'cos I hardly gives much relief. The sea is calm, only minor ripples in the skim.
swim for a few dozen meters, side by side without speaking. Their movements are synchronized naturally.
"Wait here." She says she immersed up to the bottom, and to gather Fasolare white. Going strikes against the breast of Amnon.
He holds strong, helping it to pull up, stroking her hair sun-kissed looks like a mermaid.
And we can do nothing, but finds it beautiful and desirable. It is not a sexual nature, is a connotation of the feminine: it is so sunny, so strong and delicate at the same time that you can not want it next. The
touches his lips with his, just, with closed eyes, thinking she has the same tenderness of a mother with her own baby.
Rachel walks away, embarrassed, not understanding, but at least it does not ask for explanations. Once re-established roles, slips between your hands the shell. Fifty days


Rachel gives me security.
I will always remember the warmth with which I have always surrounded her and Stephanie. They welcomed me into their love nest as a big brother Zitello and remained at the same time as a father to whom we should respect.
Or as a child to cuddle and protect. Stefania
understood that there is no competition between me and her, that Rachel does not subtract anything, giving something to me.
why I was delighted when I heard that Rachel told her tonight on Skype with quiet, sometimes sleep embraced in the same bed.
"Just remember that when I come in three in a bed there we go!" Joked Stephen.
I wanted to shout that when it comes, will have nothing to fear. Forty days


Sometimes I wish that everyone hated me because I hate myself.
So at least it would be easier to leave.
I am a person with no balls.
scenes I'm drawing in my notebook of suicide, imagining my death from several angles, but I know perfectly well that this is just procrastination.


"Why must you always do theater usually the first to say yes?" Rachel whispers to Amnon, who is talking on the phone with Shimon. The friend of the glances annoyed, as it takes time.
"I do not know what Rachel wants to do." Babblers.
"Passamela." Responds the man on the other side of the phone.
"No." states decided, trying to give voice to a deep tone. Rachel, tired of being the scapegoat for the leaders of the other mood, she pulled the phone out of hand.
"Here, at least one sane person. "Ride him, recognizing the voice of the friend. "We wanted to propose to reach me and to Gad Rainbow Café. To you be? Tonight is the night in Spain. "
" It seems a good idea. "Meets Rachel, Amnon looking straight into my eyes, without really thinking whether to go or not, if only to spite his brother quell'indeciso. "There will be a little 'live music?"
"There is a very good band playing flamenco. I know the guitarist. "
" Excellent. And tell me, you know the dance flamenco? No, because Amnon is worse than dancing with dancing with a broomstick. " She laughs.
"Me I was a bit 'notice. Let me drink a few glasses of sangria and we can talk. "The proposed him.
"Ok. You owe me a dance then. See you around nine and a half, ok? In the meantime I will try to remove that phrase from your dog beat the knight. "She greeted her, closing the call.
"Hey," yelled Amnon, taking her cell phone from his hands. "What you got?"
"Rather than what you got." She said. "Why are you so afraid?"
"I'm not afraid. And then you stop to meddle in my affairs. "Rachel looks at him with eyes of fire.
"I'm going to me in the shower, petulant brat. "He says, leaving the room, slamming the door. Forty days



Rachel is holding it under running cold shower, trying to regain calm. E 'vexed to death, but does not want to ruin the evening for the blame of his bad moods. Amnon
course has really changed and every day seems to get worse.
E 'as if to preclude, for some mysterious reason, all possibility of happiness or at least peace of mind.
It has become aggressive, perhaps the feature that surprises most. And although he claims to be the usual with her, Rachel can feel how much tension lurks along with whatever he says or does.
out of the shower, dries quickly, putting the clean laundry. Tonight
want to live, wants to look good and feel good. It will put a dress that gave both Stephanie and particularly love.
"I do not care if Amnon decided to stop his life, I have no desire to be in a coma." She says to herself.
Amnon looks surprised when she enters the room and, without bothering to say hello, his search for the black clothes From the wide skirt.
He can not help but look at it, to stop the clear skin that is slowly beginning to color of gold.
would like to be able to paint well, in semi-shade, because of its beauty, strong and fragile at the same time, it is a stab in the stomach.
"Rachel ..." is approaching, touching his arm with two fingers.
"What?" She replied, freed from the socket.
"Sorry." He says, looking into her eyes. Rachel ignores him, running out to fix the dress. "Are you angry?"
"do you think? Now we make clothes or later. And try not to be a moron like you usually do. Also you can not. "


Thirty days Sometimes I feel going into meltdown, the heart begins to beat very strong, my head spinning and your legs go down. I was going
shortly after I had resigned and had blamed the weakness, but now I'm not weak enough to eat and sleep regularly.
Sometimes I can not breathe and I feel like dying.
I'm sure I'll die.
But in the end never die, even though my chest hurts.
Maybe I should talk to your doctor, but I probably dismiss quickly. O
I would say talk to a specialist and I do not want.

Shimon affectionately greets Rachel, tight hug and kissing her on both cheeks.
"You're beautiful." He says, grabbing the hem of her black skirt. "Ok, at this point we have to dance together for strength, my Lady. May I introduce Gad? "Rachel smiles to the new knowledge and let Amnon and Shimon approaching and greet. Out of the corner of the eye following their movements and can not help but smile when they notice that the embrace between the two continues for too long.
The restaurant is already full of people in the courtyard of the flamenco-rock band playing a very loud, so that is almost impossible to talk.
They go to their table, Amnon sits next to Rachel, while keeping a certain distance between them.
"Do I make you drink the sangria tonight?" Rachel laughs, turning to Shimon.
"There is no need to pray." He says, looking into her eyes and Amnon seems as though they're flirting.
"Why would you want to dance with him?" He tells Rachel.
"Why do not I want to dance with you and me to step on their feet all the time." The prickly she says.
"I tried anyway, to dance the flamenco." He says. "I do not like make me ridiculous."
"It could be an interesting experience." Teases The Gad.


Thirty-fifth day I feel stupid writing this diary in half.
Really, I do not see it .. if not the purpose of fulfilling the promise of fucking. Damn me.
Is not this now ... I should mention is that the more I approach the end everything becomes more confused.
You understand, Shimon?
I hope you will understand by reading.

"Explain why you are always like acid to me." Shimon says, and walks with Amnon to take the sangria at the bar. "If you're not interested, you can always tell me. We are adults to deal with it. "
" Maybe I do not care. "The answers the question without looking at his face.
"What do you mean" maybe "? And look at me in the face, fuck, you do not thirteen. "Grabbed him by the shoulder.
"It is business that we relate to ..." Shimon interrupts him, grabbing his jaw.
"It 's my life idiot. And I'm not going to waste time chasing ghosts, fuck. I'm not a teenager. If you wanted was a good fuck, well you got it. "
" This was what you wanted, I think. "Says the youngest. In response
Amnon kisses him on the mouth, without answering.
"Now take these drinks and go back to the table, I'm not going to let too much time alone with Rachel Gad." The information, advancing toward the chest.
"Rest assured, he has not the slightest intention to pounce." Shimon sarcastic answers. "Stop using it as an excuse."


Twenty-eighth day I decided: I want to shoot me.
I know that is not the best way to commit suicide, which is painful and inconvenient for those who will help my body, but it seems like the right death for a murderess.
shoot with my own gun.
After three years of military and a war I know perfectly how to shoot to kill a person.
I'm not afraid of physical suffering and I can not even make too many scruples who will wash my body, suicide is in itself an act of selfishness.
So better to be selfish to the end.

"Well I had both my sangria, and then my dear young lady, well now we can go dancing." Shimon reach out to Rachel, help her up. "You should wear heels more often, you're more stylish. "He tells her, making her twirl.
"What a pimp you are." She whispered, slowly beginning to make sinuous movements with his hands, caressing the air with her fingers and feeling the rhythm of the music in the sides.
"Do not you told me to be so good." The compliments him, improvising a few awkward movements of Seville.
"I studied flamenco for five years, Amnon would have to warn you." Warbles her heels began to beat, improvising on the melody of the guitar and doing the twirl skirt.
Amnon looks enchanted from the table, wondering how she could, usually so shy and reserved, so move at ease among so many strangers who watch it.
would like to think that they are enchanted by the magic of his style and they're not just seeing her in a piece of female flesh on which to vent their animal instincts.
The mere thought that someone would want his little sister sexually makes him sick. And he does not like at all like Shimon looks like play with her, knowing that he feels for her interest in that type.
"They are a lovely couple." Comment Gad. "I would be able to dance so well, you know how many guys I could enchant the club?"
"It 's something so damn ... sexual . "Amnon said, scornfully.
"Sensual, you mean." Gad corrects him, ending their sangria. "It must be fun. I mean, I think they are mistaken for a heterosexual couple. "
" Oh how nice, we all return in the closet. "
" This is not the end. E 'to see how we take them around, as we master the their language. "Gad explains. "If you want to defeat the enemy, you have to blend well," he jokes.
"This joke was extremely upset." Commented Amnon. "I'm going to get me to drink again."

twenty-fourth day
Lately I've ever head in a song, In the moonlight shadow . The
often sang karaoke to me and Rachel when we were in Pisa and I do not know, but somehow it seems that now speaks to us.
my little sister, I'll be always near you.
Promise me you will not cry too much for me, not substance.

"I can not wait to get to know your better half." Shimon said to Rachel. "It 's as sweet as you?"
"Perhaps more than me. You know, we sponsor the Italian order of dentists, we are so sweet that we come to decay to all our friends! "He jokes.
"Besides, lesbians are used to soften the LGBT community "declares Gad, dandle a hug. "And you are truly a special girl."
"Street children, end up with all these compliments embarrass me." She blushes.
"I will we do instead of a bow you did not do enough." Shimon Causes, looking at the person's eyes.
"Well, instead of standing still on the road, I'd say it's time to go." Amnon Proclamation.
"I started the car then, so I take off my heels start to bother me. Give me the keys. "She ordered peremptorily.
"I'll go with me, ever I be accused of not being quite cavalier!" Gad says, grabbing his arm.
"All right, then I'll feel the group of which I mentioned earlier from my i-pod, so I guess those two will do for a while. '" She suggests, going to the parking lot.
"Oh, yeah. Shimon I wonder how I managed to completely lose your head like that. "Look, shaking his head.
"If it gives me so much, they lost in two." Laughs Rachel. "Amnon And if he does not stop running away, I will lose my patience!"


seventeenth day I decided the date. The day before he comes Stefania. I could wait until she arrives and Rachel to go away with her in a hotel, would gentle on my part.
But the thought of dying with Rachel next gives me courage, make me feel better.
I know, she probably will not be able to forgive me.
I'll probably hurt, but I'm not sure I care so much.
can not get worse than it is.

"I am surprised at you. Stephen would say if he knew so tanned you tonight? "Amnon attacks it in the car.
"Like what? Just because for once I was dressed as a woman? She wants you to do so more often. "He defends her, ready to vent the anger on all day.
"Of course, it would be very happy to see you tanned so when you go out with men only. "
" Men gay. Otherwise I would not have ever done. "Responds acid.
"Well, then you could avoid Shimon flirting with all night." He mutters.
"What I would have done? I hope you are drunk, my friend. "The screaming, scratching the bare skin of the arm.
"By your misfortune are perfectly sober. And how do you call dancing together, laugh, look in your eyes? "He exclaims, and hold the steering wheel. "All the local have thought you were a couple."
"A couple that is untouchable and not to kiss?" She laughs. "I have yet to figure out if you are more jealous of me or him. And just to let you know you're not boyfriend either, so stop immediately. "
" Are you going to say to Stephanie? "Continues undaunted.
"I have nothing to hide, damn it! To me you're completely stupid and all day you're dealing with shit! What the hell, just because I love you, is not written anywhere that it should bear your hysterical scene, "she yells. Both
falls into a silence thick and heavy.

Thirteenth day
My life is useless.
not useless, are not indispensable to anyone.
I do not have a purpose, I have no ambitions. I
drag as an empty shell and pointless.
'm just a machine ready to kill.
Or they break.

"Rachel ..." he whispered, sitting on her bed. Can not make it to bed knowing that she is still angry with him and that probably is not sleeping. It hurts to hear the tears of her when she touched her face.
"Do not cry. I did not want ... I did not want. You are the most important person in my life. "Le says. "Do not abandon me."
"It is true that I am, I can not be." Responds with bitterness, subtle voice is lost.
"I'm sorry. I am ashamed. I ... I ... I care a lot you do not know what came over me. Yes, I'm jealous. I'm jealous of you. "He stroked her hair. "And I'm a jerk and really, sometimes I do not even know why I act in a certain way. Forgive me. "
" You know I would not be able to keep the nose tomorrow. "Softens her, calling on his side and hugging. "What makes you feel so bad?"
"I'm not evil." He defends himself, the lie of the clearest reflection of the moon on the polished floor.
"Amnon .. I understand that they do not want to talk to me, but at least do not pretend it's business as usual." It flatters. "Please, at least be sincere."
"It is not he does not want to talk to you ... is that I do not want to talk and nothing else. "he whispered.
"It would be better if you write to Shimon to apologize, you were intractable with him." Suggests.
"I do not deserve it." Chatter, but then convinces her to type a message on the phone.
"Excuse me for tonight. I love you. "Type, sending the message without thinking twice.



Ninth day I look at the sky more and more yellowish and muggy.
I fucked up, yet another of my life.
Why have something you want to be so, but only very little is worse than not having it at all. 'Cause you know that regret.
It can have a thousand better than me and I have very little to offer.
Why can not I enjoy a night like everyone else?
sentimental fool I am.
Now I know that even in the darkness I will continue to feel her smell.

"Are you sad little sister?" Asked Amnon, while walking along the beach, enjoying the night.
"I miss Stephanie." She whispered. "Fortunately, in three days will be here. It 'a long time no see. "
" I do not know how facades. Do not I'll never live in harmony with such a person. That we will be boys we need more space. "See Amnon.
"Perhaps you need space, after being five years with that beast of a Gal. "she points out. "You were always attacked him and he treated you worse than a dog."
"Beast seems a bit exaggerated." He said. "It's not a compliment compared to what you really think of him. Your more than a free report was a massacre. "Comment on her.
"Relationships between people are never linear. Or at least, have never been lucky enough to have one. "Rachel takes her hand.
"You should try to let you go more with Shimon." She whispered.
"Ah, little sister, I was thinking ... you want to go to a concert tomorrow night? I'll give you a ticket to begin to forgive me. "
" Do not you need it, brother. "The pinch rolls." I love how stupid you are. But I'll come willingly to the concert anyway! "He laughs.
"sold, then!"


seventh day I canceled all his messages. I know it's stupid, but I will not keep them.
I do not want when they find my phone, might think that my gesture is related to him.
Shimon has nothing to do.
He tried to light a candle in my darkness. I hope he has the strength to turn a well to my memory.
know, Shimon, I'm falling in love.

"It 's been a great concert, thank you!" Rachel yells on him, his ears still bothered by excessive decibels. He kisses his friend on the cheek, and hold once again. He wants to look more happy than it is because it wants to transmit a bit 'of good humor that Amnon, which badly conceals his sadness behind a fake smile.
Have you felt so useless in the afternoon, when he felt like a burn as he was shot down and dejected and was not able to make him talk, nor to relieve his suffering.
"I hope you'll remember our evenings, when you're away ... and I think a little bit." Mumbles him, starting the car engine.
"Of course you think! And then we will feel, you believe that? Mica can think of escape me! "She threatens him.
"Think of me only occasionally, achot yakarah ." She sighs, she can not distinguish the words.
"You know ... I thought of the idea of pictures .. I think you would be out of something beautiful. I still have that drawing you made me so many years ago .. "she reminds him.
"I do not so much fantasy." Amnon shrugs. "I'll go if we stop to take some sweets for tomorrow morning? Since my parents are out this weekend, do not think anyone has bothered to leave something for tomorrow. "
" Okay. "She nods her. "You're pretty much on an empty stomach since this morning." She reminded him.
"For now I want something chocolate," she exclaims, parking the car in one of the bars along the promenade. "There is a bakery that is open all night sweet good. Come. "
end up eating unleavened chocolate walking on the beach still crowded, speaking of the concert and just saw the program for tomorrow.
"I think not having yet said how important it is for me you came to see me." He says he stammered.
"No, actually I just thank you fifty times day, I had not realized mica. "Jest once again Rachel, hugging him. "Stupid you are."
return home and begin to see some 'of videos about Nana10, Rachel barely resists sleep.
"Go to bed little one, not that you have to be to watch my insomnia." Urges him.
"Ok, then I go to bed ... goodnight, see you tomorrow." Rachele drawl, too sleepy and retired to their room.

Day
Touched by Rachel is something sweet. I wished that my mother had cradled as a child, but she's a very cool woman and men do not like touching people will be touched.
I will miss so much, my Rachel.
Do not cry for me, ok? I would like to ask you, as he shakes my hand. E 'last long, maybe even an hour, she held me patient and I stroked her hair. Only once tried to ask what was wrong, then you are limited to Starmie next, like the night we slept in the same bed.
If our life had been different, if we had been different, maybe one day we'd get married and had children.
If .. if .. if .. I should stop thinking about all these situations just makes me sick.
not have much to leave behind, because even if I had something, maybe I would not have come to the resolution I have taken.
Nothing behind, in front of only twenty-four hours that will pass soon.

Amnon restless waiting for an end to any noise and turn off the lights, including television. Sits in the dark, because it is the darkness that returns everything. He takes off his shoes and tiptoed goes to the parents' room. Not even in the dark is hard to guess his backpack in a corner cabinet. It pulls out and hugs him tight, had to be carried up in the living room.
He kneels on the floor in front of the pack as a relic.
carefully pulls out everything: the shirt that her mother has washed several times, now the pants are too wide and must take up with the belt and finally the black rifle.
is granted crying while the charge and the tip under the chin, closing his eyes.
A cry tore eardrums firearm slips between her thighs and just a twist of fate is not part of the blow.
Only later will realize that it did not removed the safety. Rachel shakes
petrified, unable to scream again, neither to approach nor friend.
seems an angel with the light that filters in the corridor behind her slender shoulders, the chest that runs after missing a breath.
"Come here." Squeaks Amnon, unable to face her. Realize that you may not be close now, while he still has that instrument of death in his hand. Lays it gently to himself, him away, but she still does not move, petrified. Mechanically
disarm the gun and hide it in your backpack ... but you may not be close anymore anyway. Perhaps he is afraid of him now.
Rachel's falls on him, incredulous, touching his face with his hands warm. He does not know what did in the lead, what would scream.
"I'm tired of being nothing." Whispered to her, hold strong. "Who am I?" Rachel does not speak, is to listen in silence to vent. "What I belong, Rachel? I'm Israeli, but I can not even defend my land. I'm the jew, but they are gay and people do not want me. I dreamed of being at peace, but I have a rifle. And I'm not even a fucking human being, because it is not a murderess! "The voice fragments in a slow sigh.
Rachel tries to chase back the tears and clasps him tightly to himself.
"What happened when you were in Gaza?" He asks in a voice thin.
"I do not know. My hands were shaking, I did not shoot. And if you do not know what you are shooting? Nothing. Because in war there are no rules. If you and your fellow soldiers hit you, because if you do not shoot it endangers their own lives, they are right. And then you take ... take the blows, insults, the spitting. And the next day to shoot and maybe even try your hand will tremble a bit 'less, but you can not be happy when you see blood when you hear the screams. When you see women and children queued for a ration of water that never comes. And you think that this is not the country you want. And then of course you do if you shoot him? To react you try, close your eyes and pull the trigger. And everything you've believed to be shattered. And you can not say that you do not believe in what you're doing, because if not it will be even worse. And see your buddies, your friends, who brutalizes like wild beasts, they feel that because they have studied both civil and abroad. And the smell ... can not imagine the smell of rotten blood and phosphorus. As it burns the throat and eyes. I'd rather be dead. "Amnon turns off between Rachel's arms, breathing becomes a broken rattle on her breast.